I know what it feels like to be depressed. If anything right now, I'm in your shoes at this very moment.
I just wish I had income coming in instead of waiting to hear from somebody. I wish that I had my own room or that I could have an apartment by myself or even with a friend. I wish I could just dive into the word and be joyful with everything that He has to offer. I wish I was the smiling girl that many people know me as. I wish a lot of things...
I just saw a picture on Pinterest today that says: Don't wish, just DO. Oh, how I wish it were that easy. I struggle every day even just to get out of bed to get something done. Many times, I've wanted to just give up on everything. Give up on finding a job, give up on getting my license, give up on my schooling, give up on my career, but someone very dear to me got me out of bed and said something that has been changing my life every day since. This person said, "You can't get better or get over your depression if you just lay in bed." This person got me out of bed and even out the door to run some errands.
Depression is not fun. Many people will judge those who are depressed and will tell others to just get over it, but not knowing that if it was that simple, I think any of us would just want the depression and feeling of worthlessness/purposeless to end. I know that I wish it could just end today so that I could just be my joyful self.
I'm going to be very honest, that I have only told a number of people, but when I'm in church, I'm the happiest person, but right when church ends and I walk out of the church doors I go right back to the feeling of being/feeling depressed and I don't really know what this may mean about how my walk with God is going.
Something that I have to keep reminding myself is to not believe the things that I tell myself when I feel sad and alone because, I know that is the devil in my life seeking to steal, kill, and destroy. I have to remind myself that I am not alone because I have a Lord that is always with me. Deuteronomy 31:8. We cannot allow anything to separate us from the love of God because we know that nothing can separate us from the love of God. Romans 8:38-39. The Lord is close to you when you are brokenhearted and depressed. Psalm 34:18. He cares for enough and He will take away our anxiety if we just cast it all upon Him. 1 Peter 5:6-7.
In those periods of despair, I had to choose to believe God and trust in His promises rather than trusting my feelings. Your purpose is greater than your past. Sometimes God will put a Goliath in your life, for you to find the David within you.You have been assigned this mountain to show others it can be moved. Trust God with what you can not change. Here's a scripture that comes to my mind:
1 O God, have mercy on me,
for people are hounding me.
My foes attack me all day long.
2 I am constantly hounded by those who slander me,
and many are boldly attacking me.
3 But when I am afraid,
I will put my trust in you.
4 I praise God for what he has promised.
I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?
What can mere mortals do to me?
5 They are always twisting what I say;
they spend their days plotting to harm me.
6 They come together to spy on me—
watching my every step, eager to kill me.
7 Don’t let them get away with their wickedness;
in your anger, O God, bring them down.
8 You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.
9 My enemies will retreat when I call to you for help.
This I know: God is on my side!
10 I praise God for what he has promised;
yes, I praise the Lord for what he has promised.
11 I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?
What can mere mortals do to me?
12 I will fulfill my vows to you, O God,
and will offer a sacrifice of thanks for your help.
13 For you have rescued me from death;
you have kept my feet from slipping.
So now I can walk in your presence, O God,
in your life-giving light.
Here is an inspiring quote from Brittney Moses, "Depression is no surprise to God and it does not cancel His purpose for your life. You may be struggling, but you are not your struggle. You still are who God says you are And this does not make you less of a person. You're just as valuable and your story is not over."
And by Corrie ten Boom, "If you look at the world, you will be distressed. If you look within, you will be depressed. If you look at God, you will be at rest."
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