Obviously, from the title of this blog and the picture that you first saw, I will be talking about Forgiveness.

I have always had a problem with truly forgiving someone and letting go of what they did to me, I believe that this is because of my past. I have put up a wall in a sense when anything happens to me because I've been hurt so much that I don't want anyone to hurt me again like I've been hurt in the past. 

Something recently happened between someone that I'm really close to and me. This person did something that really hurt my feelings and then this person asked for forgiveness and I then thought I forgave this person. Until the thing kept hindering in my mind in random times which would then cause me to burst out into tears, just thinking about this situation. I talked with this person and I told them how I was feeling and this person then made me realize that my past was coming back into my life because I would think about everything that has happened with this certain gender for most of life and it literally hurt my heart to think about, but no matter if I prayed or tried to distract my mind, it would keep coming back.

I then took to Facebook to ask people how they have been able to forgive somebody and they gave me this link. I then took notes on what was talked about and here's what I got:

What is forgiveness not?

1.) Forgiveness is not a feeling. Forgiveness is not something that happens to us, it's more proactive than that. We don't have to feel like forgiving someone to do it.

2.) Forgiveness is not reconciliation. Sometimes when we forgive someone, we think that everything has to go back exactly the way it was, but by doing this, we could actually be setting ourselves up to be hurt again in the exact same way. We can forgive the offense, but that doesn't mean that we don't set up new boundaries or redefine our expectations of the relationship to ensure that what they did, doesn't happen again.

3.) Forgiveness is not forgetting. You may never forget what that person did to you if we wait until we have forgotten to forgive, we may never get there and again, this is because forgiveness is not something that happens to us, it is much more proactive than that. 

Now the question we all are looking for: What IS Forgiveness?

1.) Forgiveness is a command. Mark 11:25. Ephesians 4:32. Colossians 3:13. Matthew 6:15. Forgiveness is a command from God. Forgiveness is not something we do when we feel like it, it's not something that magically happens when we forget. It is an act of the will.

2.) Forgiveness is an act of faith. In doing it, we are actually being imitators of God. Christ didn't forgive us because we deserve it, He did it so that we would not have to carry around the guilt and the shame and the repercussions of sin any longer.

3.) Forgiveness is letting go. We have no control over the people who hurt us. When we have bitterness/not letting go then we give what they did to us to control us. The longer we hold onto something, the more power it has over us. 

It's only when we are willing to forgive and let go that we are saying, "You don't have power over me anymore.What you did hurt me once, but I'm not going to let it hurt me again and again. You may not deserve my forgiveness, but I don't deserve to carry around what you did to me, so I'm letting it go." Forgiveness may be hard, but it is a good thing, it doesn't mean that the pain is gone because it's not about making feelings go away, it doesn't mean that everything is okay now because it's not a magic pill that we can just take. Forgiving someone else does not set us free from everything, but it does free us from the prison of hostility, bitterness, and hatred. Choosing to forgive means that we are choosing the way of God.

I'm still hurting from what happened, but I have forgiven this person and as I'm writing this, I realize that this is the first time in a few days that I'm thinking about what happened and it doesn't make me want to cry. I know that the person who hurt me didn't mean to and I trust that this person won't do it again because they saw how much it hurt me and they are a child of God and would never want to see one of His princess' cry or even be sad. Forgiveness is a way to show mercy (as He has shown much mercy for us) not to hold the offense up against the offender, it is an expression of love. 

Here's a prayer for forgiveness: Father, I lay down (person's name) to You. Lord, I'm having a hard time letting go of the hurt. God, I want to forgive, but the pain is almost too hard to let go of. But today I choose to give it to you. When they (tell Him whatever they did), it crushed my soul. I give You that hurt. Lord, heal every part of me that is being affected by this situation. I release them and the situation to You. In Jesus' name, Amen.